Don't Let Your Teen Be Abused

There seems to be a rising problem with abuse in teens while dating. This comes from an abusive and aggressive partner. It is not always the male that is the abusive one either. Some teens do not recognize that they are being abused or that they are being abused. They believe that they are in love and that the abuse is normal.

Often the abuse becomes very dangerous for the ones involved, even to the point of bodily injury or even death. When one of the partners become completely consumed with their rage, they have no way out. They continue until the final outcome is too costly to imagine. It is not normally the intent of the person to kill someone, but that can always be a result.

If you know of an abuse between your own teen or a loved one, seek help as quickly as you can. Parent counsel is always good, but sometimes it may take getting law officials involved. Don't ever let the situation get to the point where it is way out of hand. I see youth come to the youth home that I work at, every once in a while, as a safe haven for the youth. I also see some come in who have been the abuser in the relationship.

Therapists in the school that I work at are trained to deal with all kinds of abuses. Sometimes all the teen needs is an open mind to talk to. They will tell someone that they trust all that has led to the point where they were sent to rehab. They gain their self respect back and learn to stand up for themselves in the school that is provided. Do not allow your teen to be abused or allow your teen to abuse others. Seek help whenever you feel that a situation is escalating into a dangerous one.

Dealing With Teen Pregnancy

If we are going to allow our teens to date, which sometimes they will do it whether we allow it or not, we need to be aware of some of the risks that are involved. Teen pregnancy and abuse in a relationship are becoming more and more common.

The school systems now days are trying to make kids become more aware of the problems that may arise from sex. They warn of spread of disease and pregnancy. Many schools even offer condoms for teens to use, with the idea that if you are going to do it then at least protect yourself. I disagree with the handout as a way of empowering or condoning the action as being okay because you are protected. The teenage years are in no way a good time to become pregnant and raise a child. I do not think that teens know what they are taking on.

You may talk with your own teen and let them know how you feel about these things. My dad always told me not to make him a grandpa before he was ready to be. That always stuck in my mind. I had respect for my dad because he was always open and honest with me. I knew where he was coming from and he knew where I was coming from. Being open minded and listening to your teen will go a long way in helping them to make good decisions.

If your teen does happen to get pregnant, what are your options? I personally do not agree with abortion, but I also do not think that a teenager has the attention and will to raise a child. Especially not if they are still in highschool. There are too many distractions for a school aged teen to raise a child with love and attention to the childs needs. There are many clinics that will address your teens needs physically, but what about mentally. I am lost on how to deal with a pregnant teen. If anyone has any ideas please feel free to comment.

Don't Wait

In many cases, we wait too long to get help for those who might need it. When we are not proactive, we are forced to be reactive. Sometimes the reaction that we give is sorrow and pain. There are so many resources for help, that we are not forced to go it alone.

Imagine having to face the growing pains of dealing with a teen all alone. Now imagine being a teenager, and face dealing with the growing pains by yourself. I would rather be on the parenting side of that equation. Too many warped and crazy things go into a teenagers mind when they feel like noone loves or respects them.

When a teens actions get too out of control to deal with, maybe to where they are breaking the law, there are safe places where their needs are met with therapy and one on one activity. Many schools and homes offer a safe haven for your teen. They offer therapy and and school to help your teen become a successful adult.

How to Decide if Your Teen Needs Therapy

You are tired of your teens actions, but don't know what to do. If your teen is not responsive to conversation with you, your job may be tougher on you. There are many consultants that can work with you to reach the desired results that you may need.

Many consultants are not associated with any particular program and can direct you to which program suits your teen the best. When consulting with these people, be open and honest with them. They need as much, and as accurate information as you can give them. Remember, this is the option that you have if your teen will not cooperate with you.

In the case that your teen will talk with you, be up front with them. Let them know that the reason for the decision you have made is because you care for them, and can't watch any longer as they are headed down that dead end road. Sit with them and discuss the options and explain to them that you will be going through this time of life together, as a family.

Talk about what each of your needs are and what your expectations for each other are. Your teen will be more receptive if he/she knows that this is a team decision and that you are all in it together. It is better to disrupt the flow of your teens life when they are on the wrong track, than to allow the wrong track to disrupt their life for good. Let's do all we can to save the lives of the ones that we love.

Thoughts as School Approaches

Are we ready for another year of school? Better yet, are our youth ready for another year? Today I was sitting here pondering these questions.

It scares me to think of all the bad influences that are in the schools these days. Last week I was talking to a friend of mine. She told me of a thirteen year old girl that they found in the cleaning closet of the school that her son was attending. She was on the drug LSD and was completely non-coherant. Her son had told her that it was easy to get these drugs and that he had actually experimented with it.

My friends son was getting a reaction from Mom, but he has been in and out of trouble since his father died. The thought that our children can access these types of things chills me to the core. When I was younger, we didn't worry about these things. The most trouble we could get in was pulling the fire alarm.

To me, spending time with our youth and teens is very important at these times. Let them know that we are there for them, and let them know what our expectations are for them as well. If we spend time with them, they are more likely to want to do the things that make us as parents proud.

Home Away From Home

Many of the facilities available to your teen are very comfortable homes. Yeah, they may not have the liberties to roam freely, use the telephone, or talk to friends, but they are safe from harm and are dealing with the issues that need to be dealt with.

Each student attends group and individual therapy with their own assigned therapist. Each student is also assigned a Family Rep. This Family Rep acts as a go-between for the student and the parents. Students are allowed phone calls, based upon their behavior, with their parents. The Family Rep, however, is always in contact with the family to keep them informed and deliver progress of the student.

Each student is also assigned a group. This group consists of several other students and has a staff member assigned to monitor, write reports, and make sure the students are where they are supposed to be. Students are not allowed to just go wherever, they are to report their whereabouts to the staff and then be there. Staff will continue to monitor this student at all times.

The students are fed 3 times daily, with a balanced and nutritious meal. Then, before bed, they are given a snack to get them through the night until breakfast. Students are given ample time to exercise throughout the day. They even have a physical education course to keep them doing correct exercises.

At the end of the day, the students will assemble one last time to express final thoughts for the day. After this, they are to retire to their rooms for shower and get ready for bed. They are allowed some time to collect their thoughts, then it is time for bed. At this time the day staff is replaced by night staff to watch over and look out for the safety and well being of the student.

It really is a pretty cool process to go through, and the students benefit from the structure and environment. They learn and grow in a place where that is the common goal instead of the worries of dealing with drugs, peers and other influences that might deter them from their studies.

Watch for Depression

When teens become depressed, there are far too critical of consequences. When they spend too much time alone, their minds start to play with the ideas of death and suicide. There is no reason for a teen to end his/ her life before it has even begun.

There are signs to look for that can help us to avoid this tragedy. While some depressed teens appear sad, others do not. In fact, irritability—rather than depression—is frequently the predominant symptom in depressed adolescents and teens. A depressed teenager may be hostile, grumpy, or easily lose his or her temper. Unexplained aches and pains are also common symptoms of depression in young people.

When teens are depressed, there are many results that may be imminent. First they might start to slip or struggle at school. They seem to not care and their grades start to fall. They even get to the point of cutting class to do other things. Substance abuse is also a result of depression. Teens will use drugs or alcohol as a means to self medicate themselves. Eating disorders can also be a result. Often times a teen will turn to violence or suicide as a way to cope with depression.

An alarming and increasing number of teenagers attempt and succeed at suicide. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-olds. For the overwhelming majority of suicidal teens, depression or another psychological disorder plays a primary role. In depressed teens who also abuse alcohol or drugs, the risk of suicide is even greater.

If you suspect that a teenager in your life is suffering from depression, take action right away. Depression is very damaging when left untreated, so don’t wait and hope that the symptoms will go away. Even if you’re unsure that depression is the issue, the troublesome behaviors and emotions you’re seeing in your teenager are signs of a problem. Whether or not that problem turns out to be depression, it still needs to be addressed - the sooner the better.

Seek out a professional therapist if the avenues that you are using now do not work. There are many therapists and group homes that deal with treating depressed or suicidal teens. Every child, young and old, is essential to the growth of our families, communities, states, and countries. To me, there is not anyone who is worthless, and everyone deserves to be happy.